1985

‘Hey did you see Tomorrow’s World last night?’ Steve asked Johnny excitedly.

‘Nah I missed it, my mum was watching Crossroads.’ Johnny’s mum was hooked on soap operas, meaning Johnny could never watch the shows the other kids talked about in school. The two boys were walking to school so slowly they could have been going backwards, today was double maths, double Geography, the day from hell.

‘Man, it was coolaorama, they were talking about the phones that we’ll have in the future. Apparently there will be phones we can carry in our pockets and use anywhere? It was wicked.’

‘Like what’s the point of that? Why would I want a phone in my pocket?’ Johnny asked.

‘Well, um, you could phone your mum to tell her you’ll be late.’

‘I can do that now you dipstick, I just need 5p in my pocket and anyway in the future like, I won’t be phoning my mum will I?’ Johnny said, still not very impressed.

‘Okay so your kids could phone you to tell you they are late.’

‘Nah it sounds lame to me.  I don’t see the point, it’ll never catch on.’ Johnny said.

‘Mate don’t be a dumb ass, this is the future. It will be cool. A phone on your pocket!’ 

‘I still don’t see the point.’

‘Okay so if you don’t like that they were also saying that there is going to be a computer thing in America that will store all the information we need  and right we will all have computers at home that we can search for anything. That’s bad!’

‘That sounds boring.’ said Johnny in a bad mood cos he hand’t seen the programme.

‘Boring? No Way! It sounds brill.’

‘It sounds like a massive book and books are like boring.’

Steve thought about this for a second and had to agree with his mate, it did sound a little boring, but it had looked really exciting on the TV.

‘At least we will be able to get information quickly and not have to read all them books.’ he said.

 Johnny shrugged. ‘True, but I doubt it will happen, that programme is full of shit.’ He looked at his watch. ‘Hey we’d better get a move on or we’ll be in deep shit.’ 

With that the boys upped their pace and forgot all about the future for the time being. 

If you enjoyed that why not buy my new novel

Maggie’s Milkman? It is now available on Kindle - search 'Milkman Gareth Davies’ (the links are different in different countries)

and on other ebook readers at - 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/412845

By the way if you like the novel you could do a number of things to help me. 
Sharing the links on Facebook or twitter woud be really appreciated. 1 share might lead to 2 sales 

Writing a review on Amazon or Smashwords would come in handy too. 
Thank you 

Her

‘Have you seen the advert for that new film called Her?’ Steve asked. 
‘I can't say I have,’ said Johnny, who was not much of a cinema goer. 
‘Well’ said Steve. Otoh thought Johnny, there was no mistaking that that well signalled the start of a thought that had been fermenting in Steve's mind for a few days and was ready to be released to the world. 
‘Her is all about a guy who falls in love with his computer. With the operating system’s artificial intelligence voice, you know like Siri on the iPhone, it helps him organise his life.’ explained Steve. 
‘Sounds lame,’ said Johnny.
‘Looks lame,’ said Steve ‘but even worse, it’s a complete rip off. Do you remember Mannequin?’ 
‘Mannequin?’ repeated Johnny ‘searching his database but coming up blank.’ 

‘Well the guy in that falls in love with a mannequin, a showroom dummy. The films are exactly the same - showing how love blossoms between a lonely man and an inanimate object while the world looks on thinking they’re cuckoo. ‘
Johnny smiled at the use of the word cuckoo. ‘And your point is?’
‘Well they’re insulting our intelligence aren’t they? Just regurgitating the same old shit hoping people won't notice. It wouldn’t be so bad if they were saying it was a remake but to pass it off as something new is just an affront.’

‘The thing I don't understand about you Steve, is that you always seem to expect so much from things! You know the film industry is dross! Why do you expect any different?  Weren’t you the one ranting about false expectations just a while back?'
‘I can't help it if I am naturally optimistic can I?’ Steve said without a hint of irony. 
Johnny nearly spat his beer out, ‘Yeah that's the one word I associate with you Steve.’
Steve looked mildly hurt at his friend's sarcastic tone. 
‘Mind you, what can you expect from the director of Being John Malkovich.’ Steve said regardless of his mate’s teasing. 
‘Not a fan?’ Johnny asked instantly regretting it. 
‘No!’ said Steve, he was just about to launch into his views on that film when Johnny interrupted him. 
‘One more?’ he said holding out his empty glass. Steve nodded and Johnny made his move. 
‘Kim Cattrall’ he said as he stood up. 
‘What?’ said Steve.
‘That's the woman who played the mannequin. Kim Cattrall’

If you enjoyed that why not buy my new novel

Maggie’s Milkman is now available on Kindle at 
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00IO5K7HO
and on other ebook readers at - 
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/412845

and if you don’t know what they are talking about check out these two trailers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzV6mXIOVl4&feature=share

and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6gpndlepiM

Firework

‘I don't like this song,’ Steve said in a no nonsense tone that told Johnny there was more to this than just a simple statement of taste. 

               ‘Me neither’ said Johnny hoping his agreement would stymie any impending rant, it didn't. The pub's music system was playing Katie Perry and despite their disapproval, both men were singing along to the chorus.

               ‘It just doesn't make sense,’ Steve stated, ‘I think firework is meant to be a compliment, but who wants to be compared to a firework?’ His question was rhetorical but for once Johnny managed to get a word in edge ways. 

               ‘Well, I can think of worse things?’  

               ‘Really?’ Steve looked genuinely surprised.  ‘Really! Think about a firework, it goes off with a bang, creates a few oos and aahs, and then burns out leaving a sense of anti-climax. Also how many fireworks turn out to be duds, damp squibs, never get to go off at all? If my girlfriend compared me to a rocket or a Catherine wheel, I'd think she was sending me a message about my performance.’ Steve took a swig of beer but didn’t stay silent for long enough to allow Johnny to form a response. ‘Then of course if you think about it, fireworks are only really effective if there is more than one. So again,  what kind of message is that?’ 

               ‘I don't think she means it like that though,’ said Johnny.

               ‘You have to read between the lines, my friend, read between the lines. I’d been genuinely hurt if I was called a firework.’ 

Johnny shook his head, sometimes there were no lines to read between, no hidden messages, just pointless lyrics to meaningless songs. He decided to let it go taking one last swig of his beer and heading to the bar for a refill without another word.

Spitting

‘Have you noticed,’ Johnny rolled his eyes, he wondered how many times he’d heard those three little words from his mate before Steve launched into one of his tirades, ‘how many people are spitting these days? It’s everywhere, wherever you go there always seems to be someone gobbing on to the pavement or in to the gutter. It’s bloody disgusting.’

Johnny thought for a minute, and then nodded. ‘I hadn’t noticed but now you mention it, you’re right.’

‘And it’s everyone too,’  Steve continued 'well no that’s no fair, it’s every man, for some reason women don’t seem to feel the need to spit every other second. I saw a kid of about 7 spitting the other day and a man of about 70. If women don’t need to do it why do they feel the need?’

‘I guess they see their football heroes do it on the TV and think it is okay.’

‘Christ we also see footballers diving at the slightest touch but you don’t see people walking down the street throwing themselves on the floor and rolling round if someone bumps into them. I’m sorry but seeing footballers doing it doesn’t excuse it.’

‘True true,’ agreed Johnny. ‘And they don’t tend to look where they’re spitting. Some kid almost spat on my shoe the other day.’

Steve looked at Johnny in shock. It was rare he ever tried to get a word in edgeways when Steve was in full flow.

‘It’s like porn.’ said Steve

‘Porn? said Johnny, he was used to  Steve’s tenuous links but how was Steve going to link spitting to porn.

‘Yeah, have you noticed,’ there’s that phrase again thought Johnny, ‘that porn is omnipotent these days, it used to be something that was private, frowned upon, that went on behind closed doors but now people openly discuss it on TV on the radio and that’s mostly men too.’

‘Sorry mate but I don’t get your connection, it’s not like you see people using porn in public do you?’

‘Well if you think about it, in some respects you do, I mean there are strip bars open on most high streets these days but my point is that it’s something that used to... quite rightly be taboo and now seems it’s the social norm, I can’t remember when it changed but it has.’

Johnny still thought Steve was stretching a point so decided to stretch his legs by going to the bar to refresh their drinks.