Steve shook his head and tapped his watch. He’d been standing at the bar waiting to be
served for over 7 minutes. It wasn’t like the place was crowded or anything,
there were only about 12 people in, so it really shouldn’t take that long. The
problem was 3 of those 12 were drinking coffee, not just any coffee but bloody
café latte which took ages to make. To top it off Johnny wanted Guinness which
meant another 5 minutes standing at the bar after Steve had been served, waiting
for the beer to settle and be topped up in the time honoured tradition.
‘What kept you?’’ Johnny put down his phone and picked up his
beer.
‘Fucking coffee! When did a bloody pub become Starbucks?’ Steve
puffed out his cheeks. ‘Who the hell drinks coffee at this time of night
anyhow? Don’t they want a good night’s sleep?’
Johnny was about to answer but Steve didn’t give him a chance.
‘When I worked behind a bar if a fella ordered coffee they got
what was left in the pot, we didn’t give a shit if it was sill warm, we just served
it with a little plastic thing of creamer. But these days it’s all do you want
skimmed or semi skimmed? Do you want a shot of vanilla? For fuzz sake, just
pour a coffee and serve me my beer.’
‘It’s not…’ all about you Johnny was about to say but Steve cut
him off at the pass.
‘Why do they only have one person working the bar?’ He asked
indignantly. ‘It’s madness. As soon as someone orders a coffee or one of those
bloody cocktails’ Steve pointed at the board advertising all manner of
cocktails with titillating names, ‘ it creates a bottleneck.’
Johnny nodded, he’d given up trying to contribute.
‘And then your bloody Guinness, he spends time putting that little
Shamrock in the top. Does it make it taste any better?’ The question was
obviously rhetorical so Johnny let Steve answer himself. ‘No it doesn’t so why
bother?’
Johnny was looking around for an escape. But he had a fresh pint
so his usual escape route was blocked.
‘You know,’ Steve continued, ‘if they are going to serve coffee
and tea, maybe they should make it like a café and have table service. That would
mean we wouldn’t have to keep going to the bar, so we wouldn’t have this
disjointed conversation.’
On the one hand Johnny thought that this was a good idea but on the other that would
mean he’d never be able to escape when Steve got into one of these moods.
‘But would the service be any better?’ Johnny asked.
‘Well maybe not but at least you wouldn’t have to stand at the bar
jockeying for position.’
Johnny nodded, it was a good idea but it couldn’t see it working
really.
‘Anyway where were we?’ Steve asked and Johnny breathed a sigh of
relief that his friend had changed the subject.